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How can you tell whether a man is married or not? When he's not married he's allowed to get things right.

Well Twitter. I couldn't think of a bigger collection of cunts to present to me. Try recommending human beings to me. Not chocolate fireguards. All blocked now though so hopefully I don't have to put up with their obnoxious drivel again on this account.

Now here's something I've actually never tried!!

Having a trance classics night here in casa PP. Hands up who loves this epic piece of music 😎 youtu.be/p8IVONhSEY0

Collecting your High School Diploma in 2030s be like ...

Well my friends. It's the 4th of July today so we all know what that means. We need Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum to save the world 😎

I wondered what Donald Trump was up to these days.

Well this is a new look for the Tate's.

I'm too old to care about drama. I have outgrown the man I was two, five, ten years ago. I have achieved inner peace and happiness, nobody can take that away from me now. I have transcended everything that I was. And being single was the only catalyst I needed. #innerpeace

Ahhh happy birthday pervy me!! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Little things, little minds and all that. I don't care, I love the music and enjoy the light show 😎

If only more humans were like this.

Err yeah so that's nobody but me then.

PSA to any lady who sees this :- I have yet to meet any woman who looks better with makeup. You're already beautiful, don't spoil it with powder, lipstick, blusher etc Look at the real you in the mirror and love yourself for how you really look ❤️

If I ever, ever, decide to have another partner again, then this is the sort of thing I would like her to say to me 😎

Did this. Wasn't appreciated.

Greetings humans and other species. Got to do adulting tomorrow. Not looking forward to it tbh but needs to be done. I've been waiting ages for this so can't wait to get it over with. From tomorrow evening though it'll mean a new future though 😎

Small boobs are the most beautiful in my opinion. If I ever get around to having a partner again in the future then she has to be an 'a' cup at most.

I reckon I do, but that person doesn't exist.

I have to say, if you love dogs then you're an alright human in my eyes 😎