BREAKING NEWS: Bulls trade Zach LaVine to the Knicks for Julius Randle, Jalen Brunson, Obi Toppin, Quentin Grimes, Derrick Rose, 12 first round picks, 45 second round picks, the 1973 and 1970 championships, and James Dolan’s band. More to come.

BREAKING NEWS: Derrick Henry Derrick Henry  is being traded to the Buffalo Bills for a 1st, 2nd, and 4th round pick, Bruce Smith, Jim Kelly, OJ Simpson, and 4 dozen of Bar-Bill’s wings. More to come!!!

Rumors circulating Bills trading 3rd round pick and a 2024 pick for DeAndre Hopkins. Tune in for more throughout the weekend for draft coverage. FINISHING MY COFFEE ☕️!

Bills expressing interest in Cuse stud Sean Tucker, the strongest running back in the history of the combine. Bills want to add to their running back room it sounds like. Man is a TANK.

JUST IN: Deandre Hopkins signing with the Buffalo Bills, contract details to come. #HOPKINS #BILLS #BillsMafia

I have it on good authority that the reason Stefon Diggs was not at practice yesterday has nothing to do with arguing with coaches and teammates, but rather was due to him eating 44 wings from Bar Bill earlier in the day. Sounds like he shit his pants and didn’t have a backup.

Buffalo Bills Trade confirmed: Kaiir Elam to Blockbuster for a 1994 VHS of Lion King, a bag of peanut M&Ms, and the butter that goes on the popcorn. Beane tried to get popcorn as part of the deal, but Blockbuster wouldn’t budge.

Where my Dolphins fans at, ya JABRONIS!!!! SMD ESD

I’m not sure where all these weather people are getting their intel from, but they are wrong. Orchard Park will be 65 and sunny on Sunday afternoon, per my sources. Go Bills. Sal Capaccio 🏈

According to my sources, nick wright was beat up by a group of middle schoolers wearing Bills gear during his time at Syracuse, which helps explain his Josh Allen hatred.

Kelce brothers are dickheads, Jason included, and their podcast blows.

Studies show people who bring mini wieners to Super Bowl parties are more likely to be engaged in pedophilia and sociopathic behavior. More to come. Finishing my coffee!!! ☕️

Bills Mafia seems a little disappointed with what Brandon Beane has done thus far in Free Agency. I just spoke with him. He apologizes for the lack of signings, he had 30 wings Sunday night from Bar Bill, and is currently in a food coma. More to come.

According to my sources, Buffalo Bills are trading McDermott’s Newsies hat, an OJ Simpson game worn jersey, and a $500 gift card to Bar Bill Tavern, to the Pittsburgh Steelers for the 20th pick.

Happy New Year to all, and remember, don’t put twinkies on your pizza!! GO BILLS

I’m no expert, but Safety and our secondary is again a huge concern for the Bills. Finishing 5 cups of coffee to get me through this game, GO BILLS

Was just at Bar-Bill Tavern, and I shit you not, but none other than Drew Bledsoe, CJ Spiller, Eric Moulds, Pat Williams, Andre Reed, and Darryl Talley were stuffing their face with suicide wings, doing lines ❄️, and signing contracts. WE ARE BACK!!!

Heard the reason Adrian Autry benched Kiyan Anthony today was because he absolutely blew up a toilet before a team meeting after eating Chipotle. Reports say it was “absolutely sickening stuff”. Autry needed to send a message to the young buck. Carmelo Anthony was on board.