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Exclamation points have a time and place in a civilized society. Use them sparingly to avoid creating undue drama.

The news has never been more captivating. Hoover# Tidy#

Helen brought plastic salad scissor tongs when the occasion clearly called for stainless steel. Somebody needs to make things right, and that somebody is always me.

Helen announced at Prayer Breakfast she has painful red chafing. I quietly recommended a prescription ointment from the office of Dr. Gary Hoopenlooper.

I’m at the age where l can’t tell if it’s a mosquito or an eye floater.

There’s nothing more comforting than color coordinated Pyrex lids.

I consider myself a VIP at the CVS.

My church bake sales have always been successful, that is until Darlene added an additional 35% commission.

Dear Dr. Hoopenlooper, Please expunge my weigh-ins and cholesterol levels from my medical history, as the numbers are unpleasant. MT

That man has the heart of a radioactive Walmart shrimp.

As HOA president, I decree all fences should be painted white. White fences make a happier neighborhood.

Watching the news.

Joan utters platitudes directly from Home Goods pillows.

Artificial Intelligence cannot conquer Helen’s mildewed grout.

Never attend an HOA meeting where the board members request ashtrays. WhisperingHills#

Where have all the frontal lobes gone?

I’ve never liked that Applebee’s sign.

Sorry l haven’t been around, but have you ever tried to take off compression socks?

The streets are empty because everyone is recording a podcast.

Why go people watching when instead you can go people judging?