Fun fact: This may have been El Trumpo de Plorable’s last Christmas as a free man!

Fun fact: Jesus Christ never celebrated Christmas.

You mean to tell me Rudy Giuliani doesn’t have $148 million in the bank? What a loser…

The hilarious thing about Trump getting tossed off the ballot is that most of his base will write his name in anyways on Election Day, guaranteeing a Biden win.

Let the “Rudy so broke…” jokes begin!

These guys need WAY more followers!

I just offered Elon Musk 27 dollars and change for Twitter, and he hasn’t said no.

I really should have my old garden seat repaired but then I look at all the beautiful lichens and mosses growing there and I imagine the life within them so I will leave it as it is, a part of nature now.

After El Trumpo de Plorable lost the 2020 election, he couldn’t even get through the seven stages of grief. He got stuck at Denial, and was never able to move on. #TDSDefined

I invented the wheel (long story), and I’ll be voting for that young whippersnapper, Joe Biden in 2024.

And I’m not going to be lectured about musical theater by people who think the “BJ” in blow jobs stands for “Beetlejuice”.

The GOP is America’s Hamas. They are determined to burn down the government no matter the cost in pain and suffering. #HamasTerrorists #GOPChaosContinues

BREAKING: Kari Lake has just resigned from not being Governor to run for not being Senator.

Trump’s not even a very good child’s birthday party clown, which appears to be the job he’s running for now.

And so concludes tonight’s episode of Dumb Fuck Theater. Be sure to tune in tomorrow to see what this tree stump says then!

Trump says he would rather be electrocuted than eaten by sharks.

Let’s sentence Trump to death for his role in the J6 insurrection, and order the execution be carried out—by Shamu at Seaworld, Florida…

At its peak, the Trump Organization employed exactly 12 people. Twelve.

That’s fewer than the average McDonalds or 7/11.

So, Trump’s little golf motel in Florida is worth HOW much?!?!

Finally got blocked by KKKristan Hawkins. My work here is done.

In fairness, this did include a 25 cent tip…