Toxic by Britney Spears is about “Supervet” Noel Fitzpatrick.

When it comes to Germany, I don’t think it’s “uncharted territory”

How much do you reckon I can get on EBay for this broad bean that looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle?

This is crazy. But - on the off chance anyone wants me to “mule” for them - I’d be up for it. DMs are open 🤣

The reply guys in the comments 🙄 Crying while typing but, what about … and what about…

Oh, what are you up to now, Biggins!

It’s absolutely fascinating to watch Hiddlestone’s decline from being regarded as the epitome of cool after The Night Manager to…well…this… He’s a complete dick.

Alien 3 has the finest collection of British character actors of any movie I have ever seen. Brian Glover Charles Dance Pete Postlethwaite Ralph Brown Phil Davis Christopher Fairbank Peter Guinness Danny Webb Paul McGann

Our 2 new kittens are a pair of nerds.

I wouldn’t tell anyone if I won the lottery. But there would be signs.

The Only Fools and Horses theme being played on the radio this morning. I can’t be the only person who used to think it was Nicholas Lyndhurst who sang on it?

It’s #CrispSandwichDay today. I’m going ready salted, corned beef and pickle. My wife is have ready salted and Edam.

My Dad is also immortalised on Google Street View - doing what he loved - taking the bins out.

“These days, if you say you're English, you'll be arrested and thrown in jail.”

'Women eh?! Cuh!'

Well, I think that’s cleared everything up. We can all move on now. #greggwallace

I haven’t watched I’m A Celebrity for years and I won’t be watching it next year when Gregg Wallace is on there; rehabilitating his reputation with millions of morons by eating some kangaroo cock. #greggwallace

Today is the anniversary of A Day in the Life of Gregg Wallace going viral on Twitter. So, if you want a reminder of what an insufferable twat he is (on top of all the pervy stuff) then read on…

Sometimes I wonder what on earth we have let in our house.