Always wanted to do one of these cliché posts... Here goes (and we do mean it)... Big announcement incoming via Top Poppet, BBC Radio 6 Music's Chris Hawkins Chris Hawkins...

And we did give you a clue about this previously...

Thanking radio royalty Chris Hawkins Chris Hawkins for broadcasting this vital public disservice update yesterday on BBC Radio 6 Music regarding our Great Glastonbury ‘25 Debacle.

Patchwork BBC Radio 6 Music Chris Hawkins bros chronically online 🫩🫩

I’m getting close to revealing the real #patchwork identity. This unseen backstage photo from earlier in their careers has not been verified, it was found in the netto carrier bag I obtained at a garage sale. Some sillies seem to claim it’s a Keith Moon party, whoever he is??

No comment.

Patchwork better have comments patchwork or else i am never going to one of ur gigs 🥀🥀

Patchwork advice is better than nothing, very wise words.. u should use this as lyrics to ur songs

Patchwork ill be barricade trust

Update - re: Merchandise availability Sadly we have been unable to resolve the leek in my Dad's garage. We apologise for the continued disruption and hope to restore our service soon. Thanks to everyone for your patience. The matriarch merchandise range will be back shortly. As

Poster glimpsed in London after a meeting. Nipper the HMV dog is missing! Have you seen him?

The cutthroat allotment allegiance is not to be messed with. My grandad’s pitch was once decimated by rival joyriders who had a pitch, passed the leisure centre then left at the lights.

Patchwork I don’t think his hearing will be what it used to be, so try attracting his attention with semaphore arm signals. Hope poor Nipper is found.

Patchwork It took a while. He was gutted. Reigning ‘best leeks’ champion for 3 years running come to an abrupt halt. Still won the ‘best cabbages’ category as consolation.

We’ve been informed that Superman’s dog Krypto recently replaced Nipper at HMV Oxford Street. Since then, Nipper’s whereabouts are unknown. This is quite the disappearance.

Patchwork Grandma’s broth. Full of goodness

Whaaaaaa!! Ageism gone mad.

Patchwork I hope he’s not enticed by hallucinogenics whilst on the streets, like Catamine or Woofies!!