I just came up with the BEST new business idea… Undercover: Spy Agency and Brothel. Right?!? #ArcherFXX

I don’t know what Lana’s deal is with Robert, I think he’s great. #ArcherFXX

After a tough day at the office, I like to grab a 40 at the bodega and empty that sucker into my camelback before I hit the train. If I’m feeling fancy, I get some American cheese slices and some fruit by the foot and have myself a little charcuterie.#ArcherFXX

The new moon makes me wanna hit the open road on my hog, and I don’t mean Harley. I miss ridin’ ol Patsy Swine down to the VFW for bingo. #pooveyfarms #ArcherFXX

My secret to having such sharp knuckles is whenever I encounter a cinderblock wall, I get a few jabs in. #ArcherFXX

Instead of posting a thirst trap, I’m gonna post a grease trap. #ArcherFXX

Cyril is in a tizzy again today, this happens when he doesn’t have time to press his pants. Pam Life Hack #478- Fold pants, sit on them on your way to work, let your buns do the steaming. If you take the train, you may experience the bonus of making a few $$$ if you put a hat out

If you like the Pampage t-shirt wait til you see the designs for the Grand Pam Breakfast, I give those to lovers that make it through a night at Pammy’s place. #ArcherFXX

I’ve got your Thanksgiving dinner menu! Pamb Chop, Honey Baked Pam and a pile of Candied Pams. Or you could eat this at your next Pamily Reunion. #ArcherFXX

I keep offering Lana a Pammogram and she keep refusing. I’m trying to remind her that at her age she needs one every 12 months. #ArcherFXX

Need me to play the Pamborine in your band? #ArcherFXX

Ok, Ok, I’ll stop, just 2 more t-shirt ideas. Pamazon Woman and Uncle Pam, I WANT YOU. #ArcherFXX

People call hotdogs lips and assholes like that’s a bad thing, but those are pretty tasty on people so what gives. #nomnomnom #glizzyseason #ArcherFXX

I’ve been working on my cosplay for Seafood-Con and this year is gonna be hot. It’s basically a bikini made out of plastic lobster bibs, a necktie and a briefcase, I’m calling it “Hungry Businessman”, bring your melted butter! #yeoooowwww #ArcherFXX

Have you ever been late for work and in your rush accidentally zipped your lower lip up in your jacket? #yeahnomeneither #ArcherFXX

Would you pay $5 bucks for a Poovey Farms hayride NYC style? That’s where Pammy pushes you around the city in a shopping cart filled with shredded documents from the office. #sidehustle #airbnbexperience #ArcherFXX

Pampage in a glass: In a shaker with ice combine 2oz. Everclear, 1oz. 99 Bananas and 3oz. Strawberry Quik. Shake vigorously, strain into a frosted glass and top with a floater of Seagrams Escapes Jamaican Me Happy. #ArcherFXX

Forget the Agent Skills Competition, the Pam Skills Competition is way harder. 1st you have to tag a bathroom wall, drift through a redlight in your Honda S2000, shear a sheep, & finally throw a cheese wheel 70 feet. All while a superb Coq au Vin is braising in your Dutch oven.

In ancient Greece, women would expose their vagina’s to ward off storms at sea. I’m gonna put this ol’ gal to use this hurricane season. #ArcherFXX

No container has as bad of a reputation as a vat. I wanna change that. Just imagine a vat of butter, a vat of puppies, a vat of lube? The best things come in vats. #ArcherFXX