The silent treatment would never work on me. I love talking to myself, I’m insane

I don’t care which side you’re on, explaining world politics to another girl is cheating!

oh to be ducks walking on Hydrangea petals

Yes my posture is awful, I need to carry these giant beautiful angel wings (fat tits) around everyday and it gets exhausting 😮‍💨

If you let a dentist steal your back teeth you didn’t have any wisdom to begin with

They need invent a drug that prevents me from saying weird things to normaler people

if i like you i might not say it but there will be signs * rubs face on you like a cat *

Fuck 💔

Men used to die in wars and now they clip Labubus to their belt loops

One time I was taking a bath with the guy I was seeing and he explained to me the entire Bloodborne plot. It’s still the most romantic experience I’ve ever had

There’s really no reason for a female to be driving

This >>>> but replace husband with person who doesn’t actually like me

every day I’m thankful that I don’t get naturally selected because my only survival traits are being attractive passing and kind of funny

don't flirt with me unless you’re okay with me keeping a file on all your hobbies, interests, data, and organs

Luigi Mangione should’ve got Ronald McDonald for making hashbrowns three dollars instead

teach them right

I think it’s really cool how employed you are 💜

everybody's all jealous and ish cause I'm like the lead singer of the band

nothing pays as good as unemployment feels ~