I knew these idiots existed but hearing the dumb shit come out of their mouths is pretty depressing.

yeah sex is cool but what about when you’re cutting wrapping paper and it goes ——— instead of ~~~~~

Feeling a bit groggy and need to freshen up this Christmas? Flush the toilet then immediately sit your bum down on the seat for an instant pick-me-up

Hello I am brand new to Twitter, what are you guys up to

That health-suspicious feeling when you smell burnt toast. And so look around for toast, hungry.

My experience in German supermarket meat deli’s is quite different...

It’s 2021. Someone needs to invent a genius way to eat a whole fish without getting a load of scales in your mouth, ffs.

A porn site aimed specifically at married men? “PornHubby”

Forget plants. This is what windowsills are for.

So glad to get a spontaneous first vaccine yesterday. Not so glad to have it the day before this glorious day, feels like they injected me with an overload of horse tranquilizer and then asked Mike Tyson to punch my arm for a few hours.

Anyone happen to be driving across from UK eurotunnel monday September 27th? DM if so please, we are looking to buy a lift. #carsharing #eurotunnel #ridesharing

Warning for Berlin dog owners and everyone really - some sickos are KILLING DOGS with poison that just requires the dogs nose to touch. If you see this powder, please do not ignore - wash away. Also found in bait like chicken etc.Mainly seen in Kreuzberg & Neukölln #berlin

An honest observation over our years in Germany is that Germans find it seemingly impossible to apologise, more so on behalf of their own company when not one direct person’s fault. I notice this weekly. Anyone else?