Hey, America here. Great question! we have uh *checks notes* so there's um. huh that's weird,

Purbl guy

Using "I'm 14 and this is deep" in my journal as a form of self criticism and also so some historian one day has to figure what I meant by that

Brody and I just encountered the cup that disappears

I can't believe they let me get forklift certified

what do we need to do to get Schlatt and Trisha to collaborate for the next one?

Be in love, go to the aquarium. Eat the Korean fried chicken. Go to the park, next visit the aquarium. Laugh in the rain. Go on a long walk, to the aquarium. Have sushi with a Sapporo, hit the bar at noon. Feel the breeze on your skin. Get a shark tooth necklace at the aquarium.

bringing my monkeys to someone else’s circus because they need enrichment

Fantage was the og dress to impress

Ben vs Tom who gets to keep Jerry??

Depression can't hit a moving target

Using this for a podcast and making my guest sit in the witness stand

Taking a second Tylenol to cancel out the autism

I love lamp

They are releasing a new addition of the Merriam-Webster dictionary and none of you care about it like I do

25 is awesome I just called off work because I threw my neck out in my sleep

Man I haven't had Thai food in a while ❤️

I don't feel particularly proud of myself But I have a job and at least three friends so Girl whatever

Why do I kinda respect him a bit more for this

Brought the trinkets out to eat with us bc I was excited to get the drink was in a tub(yes I brought it home with me)