If you subscribe to the NonCensored Patreon (patreon.com/NonCensored), you've already got tomorrow's show, featuring Rosie Holt Brendan Murphy Eshaan Akbar as well as Oliver Izod Mr Paul Dunphy OBE & Joz Norris.

Here's water company boss Douglas Brown, who was at the Boat Race:

Blown away by The Improvised Play at Arcola Theatre tonight, honestly felt like I was watching something worthy and important at the Traverse but we were all allowed to laugh. 😍Lola-Rose Maxwell Charlie Kemp

Next week, how to polish your bassoon with a pomelo.

Tonight -‘Spies & Suspicion’
A tangled web of comings & goings including; Pall Mall murders, Scottish Widow, chair attacks, being sent to Slough, Smiley potato faces, Lyme Regis cob, Batman & the Gnome, Bible pen knives and a provocative happy ending. Lottery tip? Choose 47.

An affirmation for today:

Does Smurf meat stay blue when it’s cooked?

I love that even the subtitles people can’t work out which blonde is which #TheTraitorsUK

This kind of thing would never have happen under Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth (RIP)

So all you cheerleaders for 'the most moral army in the world' with your claims of 'pinpoint accuracy.' Take a look at what you enabled. This is the Genghis Khan model of warfare: total destruction, mass slaughter of civilians, complete eradication. Netanyahu says he has barely…

In “Cheeky Song (Touch my bum)” is the first beat of the bar on WE or ARE?

She’s been!

Christmas isn’t festive for all of us. Don’t suffer in silence. It’s okay not to be okay.

☎️Childline
08001111

☎️Samaritans
116 123

☎️CALM
0800585858

☎️Women’s Aid
08082000247

☎️MIND
03001233393

☎️Age UK
03001696565

☎️ Shelter
08088004444

☎️ LGBT Switchboard
03003300630

Been reading Benjamin Zephaniah's poetry since his death and this one made my breath catch in my throat. Ceasefire now

Did they all ask for a cuntinental?

Cauliflowers aren’t fluffy are they though

Love this 😍

THREAD

I'm gonna talk about this a bit because it's SUCH a shame and, while it's very easy for everyone to agree on that, there are people who are newer to comedy who might not understand quite what has been lost, so I'm gonna rake over the death of risk at the Fringe.

When I try to think why I still doom scroll on this hell site it's because sometimes it throws me a little moment of daft joy like this