People can be rude at buffets. "Don't take all of the fried chicken" and "you can't bring your chair to the buffet table." #idowhatiwant

When I'm in a crowded elevator and I see someone read the maximum weight capacity, I whisper to them "I just came from a Chinese buffet."

"Hey Norm, what's shaking?" "All four cheeks and a couple of chins." #cheers #everydayimjiggling

The look on people's faces when they see me in the middle seat on a plane. Window seat isn't so great now is it? #slidein #imacuddler

4 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, 1 lbs of bacon, 2 tacos, fries, a sandwich and a diet coke. Lineman dinner for one. #weightwatchers #stillhungry

There's been a sighting. #mypenis

How I define my style: #chunky yet #funky.

Ya know, sometimes I feel like my life is just waiting for McDonald's to send their booklet of coupons in the mail. #bigmacs for #bigpapa

I'm always disappointed when the McDonald's employees don't recognize me. Excuse me but I've ordered from you three times this hour. #bigmac

Some wonder how I can play sports when I'm not in shape. Well #roundisashape

Well it looks like I'm spending another Valentine's with my favourite girl, Wendy’s . #baconator #foreverandalways

A cheesy Valentine's. i.imgur.com/kyyU8am.gif

Some days I think I'm going to starve to death when I think of how far my fridge is from my couch. #thereandbackagain #ahoggiestale

McDonald's actually does serve breakfast after 10:30 if you bring a gun. #mcgriddles #hashbrowns

I have wash board abs... underneath 6 months of laundry... #sprayon

BREAKING NEWS: the PFC has announced their 2014 schedule. Find out when your favourite PFC teams play at home, CJFL.net

Waking up from a dream about bacon, and then making bacon. #justlinementhings

Sometimes I don't go big, Just so I can go home.

If it's not on a plate, it can wait.

11 offensive lineman walk into a restaurant on wing night. The amount of chickens that died for our hunger is staggering. #400 #appetizer