Um thinkin of gittin one of them thare air fryar things.

Oi moight be a gorn over ter that thar Masterdon shortly if this hare Elton Rusk bluk keep buggerin about with Twitface. Thass orl a jorb hentut.

Yew dunt see many o' them coypoo about these days.

Gorn up Potta Ham terday ter git me Christmus presants from Lathums.

My neighbor, she goo up the Pust Orfice yisty. Unlee she dint see that ole black ice orn the rud and she goo arse over tit. Well, they ring up fer an amberlance from Norrige horspital but by the toime that shew up she wus so fruz that they hetta chip har orf the rud buh.

Well, ummagorn down the Swan agin fer Christmus, cos he's a doin suffen fer the ole peeple. Hoopflee that'll be a bit more jolly than when we hed that thar Croomervirus awhile back and oi hetta sit outside at a tearble on me un in the cold.

Blast thass hully fruz this mornin hentut. Oi hev even gort frorst inside me winders.

Oi coont hardly git the ole tracter agorn terday. That wus fruz solid wuntut. And me arse bunes wus clampt ter that thar metal seat anorl suffen savage. In the end oi hetta set a foire under ut. Then that finerly splutta inta loife dintut.

We hev these noo Norfuck zebras in Littel Waddnum.

Now that that ole thaw hev come, oi wunt hetta git out the snoo plough buh.

Larst week oi wus hullin the ole grit about. This week um tekin orf the long Johns. Thass dicklus hentut.

Oi hed me tarkey dinner down the Swan. The tarkey wus a bit dry and them sprouts wunt done problee and the graavey wus hully lumpy but otherwoise that wunt too bad wassut.

Oi dornt git many Christmus presants these days cos must o' the peepel wot oi new are dead now. But oi did git some waarm socks orf the neighbor - unlee she git me the wrong size so oi carnt git em orn. Duzzy ole fule.

Oi git moi kicks orn the B1159 buh and thass no mistearke.

The wicar, he hev welcomed in the noo yare agin up Hazebruh.

Now that the days are gittin longer agin, um lookin forward ter gorn upta the caravan.

Just gornta put up moi noo calender.

Yew hetta specaleart ter accumaleart buh

Umagorn orn holdee terday - so oi hetta goo up that thar Norrige Hinternashunnul Hairport this mornin buh.

My neighbor, she goo up the docters with har leg.