I want to see Barbie at the cinema but I also don’t want to be around a lot of people so I haven’t seen it yet. I looked at all the screenings yesterday and the only one that wasn’t full was at 9am. Madness.

Manchester Museum hands back 174 objects to Indigenous Australian islanders dlvr.it/SvfwVL

There is a guy at my gym in Stockport wearing a “handle the jandal” t shirt & i just missed the opportunity to give him the ‘sup bro chin raise

Cool. Cool cool cool.

everything is expensive, nighttime is from 2pm to 9am, the sky is the colour of a pigeons gusset and i am TIRED

yeah i think i’m about to fucking die

Thanks I’ve been looking for something unsettling

I’m 87% of the way there to change my surname to Graves. Just need to buy the name plate necklace

you should be allowed to call in sick for work the next day if you’re feeling upset at 4:30pm the day prior

We’ve teamed up with Candice Brown from the Great British Bake Off to show you where your pension in invested. You might be surprised to learn your pension is invested in things you use every day, like the food you buy and the supermarket you buy it from | #everydayinvestor

This is an incredible piece thecut.com/article/mom-he…

Last night. Stockport, Greater Manchester. So good to see.

happy pride month and to all the haters out there let me remind you that your heart contains a bicuspid valve not a straightcuspid valve

i love that british shops call it “soured cream”. sour cream is simple, it describes the cream as it is. but soured cream suggests a history. that the cream wasn’t always like this. something or someone made it that way. something happened to the cream

“What are your plans for the summer?” Me:

Men should be banned from going to the gym in groups of three.

Following the news about the review to boost investment, increase pension pots and tackle waste in the pensions system announced by Chancellor Rachel Reeves, our CEO Ian Cornelius shares his thoughts on how Nest will support this review. #PensionReview

I miss Twitter sometimes