U say something funny and guys r like hmm.. it would be so funny if someone said that

Grinch: I would like to buy a dog Pet store employee: ok are you a guy? Grinch: No. I am some sort of gorilla Pet store employee: That is fine. Grinch: A green gorilla Employee: Doesn’t matter

He blends right in I can't

not gonna take pics of ppl in public but there was a crowd of people on the subway carrying spiderman like this

God's plan for me does not involve Linkedin at all

dog develops telekinesis after tap water starts running pink

Flimsy Steve

yes ios , allow papa john’s to always use my location

shazaming the siren song with one hand steering ashore with the other

They found a Pennywise in my town but I don’t have kids so I’m not really sweating it

hello sharks today I am seeking a way out besides through

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar

no he was 3 boyfriends ago, my great great boyfriend

Sorry

Greek man named Bionicles

(absolute rock bottom voice) ive been getting into journaling again

if a tree explodes and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption