Pass the grey poupon. Be careful with that on a pretzel. Your welcome. 🥵

Just found out Iron man is dead. I can’t live Like this. #ironman #RobertDowneyJr

Just woke up from a nightmare. Ross an Rachel broke up. I was crying. I know how it ends. WTF? I had pepperoni and cheese crackers for a snack before bed.

Ear worm- “John Jacob jingle heimer Schmidt , his name is my name too. Whenever we go out, the people always shout - there goes John Jacob jingle heimer Schmidt!” I suffer, everyone else does too.

If someone in your life doesn’t look at you like this, they aren’t worth it.

Negotiating with a cat is pointless. I’m ashamed to say I’ve tried. I have wounds to clean.

So I’ve leaned one thing in life, Kevin Costner can ride a horse.

Does anyone have glass doors or windows that have ancient languages painted on by a dog or dogs? If so, can someone please tell me what I’m doing wrong?

In a periodic check of my son’s bedroom I found cookies in his drawer. Do I ignore or eat just one ?

This water sausage is destined for great things. But for now he is mainly just smol.

Otter Flip Flops!!! Affiliate Link: tidd.ly/3iI808U

Decisions, decisions....

Can you love someone 20 years older. Yes. Yes you can. Your Welcome. Watch the postman.

So you can buy a flame thrower from Amazon. 49 bucks. I just have to wait 2 days. In a hotel.

Overheard in my house today: Why does the couch taste better than the ice cream sandwich #germanshepherd.

I spy with my giant German shepherd eye…

It’s windy as all get out. If my house lands in you, I’m stealing your shoes. They better be red and sparkly.

Anyone singing Wrecking ball right now because of the weather ?😰😳😳😳

Listen up. I just said the Lord’s Prayer out loud. You know it’s bad when I start praying. The wind and drop in temperature is gnarly here. @bonnie_bon1 tell them. I’m not kidding around.

God I never thought I’d be in the real life production of the wizard of oz. Stay safe my friends. #windy. #agiantbagofnopes. #WinterStorm #cold.