In this world you either crank that soulja boy or it cranks you

Oh to be a golden retriever on 4 pool noodles

Id take Slipknot over classic rock any day

pls my children have been breaded

Me - "Maybe I'll just meet someone new." My mom - "How are you going to meet someone? You never leave the house."

When times are difficult often we feel guilty experiencing joy. Allow joy in your life. Joy during such difficulty shouldn’t make you feel guilty. Use it as a way to remain aware of issues, be genuinely grateful for the good you do have and spread that joy to those in need.

my five year plan: - watch the scooby doo episodes where don knotts is there for some reason - drive around this town and let the cops chase us around the past is gone but something might be found to take it's place that's all

I just passed a store with two signs. The first said "Free Camping" and the second said "Freedom is not free." They are sending me mixed signals.

me: *heely's into your DMs*

近所のねこ

"You probably didn't put no tartar sauce on it." - Ron Killings to Shayna Baszler on #RAWTalk 😂😂😂😂😂

The best part of using Google Meet is that if you turn on closed captions and say Google Meet, it captions it as Google meat.

Signed back on Twitter to add Dr. in front of my name. What have I missed since 2020?