When your wife asks if you had more than two beers.

Me: accidentally looks at a picture of Sydney Sweeney for 4 seconds My algorithm for the next 12 hours:

WFH jobs

2007?! I’m doing this shit rn

drinking isn’t the same anymore I be waking up in critical condition

I’ll never believe in love again

That "thank you guys" without even an accent

How my car keys look at me after a few beers:

WTF. NEW JOJI

how the play button looks at me after losing 8 games in a row and breaking 2 mice

need right now…

Yall are weirdos if yall like mukbang videos. Who enjoys hearing someone sloshing around food in their mouth?

There’s no way you think $500 dollar tickets for a show is logical. That’s more than some of these festivals that come out.

The urge to get back into blue collar is crazy

FUCK. ANOTHER ONE

Kids keep talking about 6-7 wait until yall learn bout 9-5

Imma be fuckin dead by the time this bullshit comes out. Ggs

No no no. ARTIST. The streaming stuff is for shits and giggles