OK trying to follow the recipe here... At which point do I fuck the donut?

when youre the least autistic guy at your job you get to command the other autistic people around like age of empires

The betrayal scene from The Hangman (1964), dir. Paul Julian and Les Goldman, Melrose Productions Dark, surreal animation based on a poem -- about a ruthless executioner and the man who lets him prey on the marginalized, hoping to be spared

LeBron getting old is kinda sad. It's like if Paul Bunyan got old. It'd be a bummer for sure.

Jamie Lee Curtis monkey

I'm such a good guy, if I see a parking ticket on someone's car, I take it off and throw it away. This one's on me pal!

Your parents are snow birds? Mine are snow bunnies, we are not the same.

The difference between the two genders: Headed to church, “Life is a Highway” comes on the radio. 4 year old boy: THIS IS A GREAT FIGHTING SONG! 3 year old girl: NO THIS IS A DANCING SONG 😂😂😂

Cmon, if anyone gets to cheat, it's Will Smith

Boneless wings are ideal because I can eat them whole and I don't have to cough the bones up after

That stage would be perfect for my next show! Please reach out if you book this place!

I hate when I go to a pizza place and I fill up on parmesean like a dumbass

Minnesota just needs to put bench players in right away to beat the dogshit out of sga at the top of the game

The butterfly effect is when a butterfly in Florida flaps it's wings and it fouls sga in okc

Malort tastes like antique furniture

Beer cheese soup as a chaser

In Ted's defense, if he couldn't be away during a preventable disaster happening in his state under his watch, he'd never be able to vacation!

Hey DJ! Turn that shit down a little bit, please, thanks

Explaining the most useless car feature right now and I think hes 100% correct

I'd like to be a hippo, because then I'd have a really good chance of not getting eaten by a hippo