?

Come for a drive with me

Accelerate fellas?

Sorry I can’t tonight I’m backlogged on deleting my terrible tweets

All my subtweets are about Matt

My camera roll would make your grandmother squeeze her rosary and whisper

The punishment for pulling up to someone’s house and honking to let them know you’ve arrived should be public flaying

Would you agree to a boxing match in which you were all but guaranteed to lose miserably risking a TBI and other serious injury if you knew you’d make millions just for stepping into the ring?

Starlink being essentially unhackable with the common packages is a pretty major selling point that they don’t really push and I find that strange

This is officially the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING THIS???? I HATE YOU!!

Wdym you don’t drop a zyn into your Celsius?

Launching a sock company where each sock in the pack is a different color. Our hypothesis is that in a few weeks you’ll only have matching pairs remaining. I believe we can trick the sock goblins.

Based on tweets alone I have charted the ovulation cycles of every tpot adjacent woman. I’m willing to negotiate the sale of this data to interested parties. Dm with your offer.

Went here, everyone was calling you retarded

The only use case I can think of for the R1 is leaving it on your coffee table for guests to play with. It would be pretty great for that, but that’s about it

Nike saw my heavens gate sneaker tweet. I deserve royalties.