We are part of a broad coalition, one that every member organization asserts it is leading.

Everyone agrees that the consultant we hired for our strategic planning was terrible and that our Strategic Plan document is deeply flawed, but oh well we're committed to it for the next five years.

Your job will require you to regularly loan the organization money through travel expenses and the purchasing of essential supplies. In return, our accounting office will create a discouragingly complex process for you to get your money back, and then treat you with suspicion.

Staff: My laptop is broken can you get me another?

Ops: Grab one out of the laptop closet.

Staff: OK, should I throw the broken one away?

Ops: No, put it in the laptop closet—that’s where all the broken ones go.

We couldn't get an interesting speaker so we organized a panel discussion instead.

We have several very important things to discuss in the little time we have, but let’s start with department updates.

The Board has called an emergency meeting with the Executive Director to figure out what our organization does.

Due to the CEO going over his time, you now have three minutes to go through your 20 slides.

We support a positive work-life balance, and you would know this if you read the email I sent to staff on Easter Sunday morning.

I know you’re completely maxed out on important work, but we need to brainstorm on a new high impact campaign that will excite potential donors.

That’s an objective, not a goal.

When we say grass roots marketing, what we mean is that there isn’t a marketing budget.

The donor forgot to tell us that she doesn't like to use a period after her middle initial--is it too much to reprint the annual report?

Would you be willing to let us use your photography for free in exchange for a small acknowledgement?

Our mission is planning.

With our return to the office, we will be reinstating our yogurt container recycling program.

Deliverables

The board chair has indicated that she would like to observe our team meetings.

Staff: I have a PhD in this field and here are 47 papers to back up what I'm saying.

Leader: Yes, but I want to run this by Boardmember X who retired from a different field 11 years ago and isn't remotely up-to-date on current research.

Per tradition, we have chosen the least convenient location for the staff retreat as humanly possible.