Yeah he’s cooked 🥀

so the president can do this but DURK cant????

you tell ya NYC friends come to jersey and you would think u told them to go to a 3rd world country

FoolishPig urbanist slop hq this one

next time gas go under $2 ima put some in the freezer

Yall would’ve enslaved the elves, touched on the fairies, hunted dragons and mermaids until extinction and segregated the vampires

How I disappear from people's lives after being the best temporary person they'll ever meet.

Fùck gettin shot you Ever couldn’t get hard when you finally got that pùssy…😭💀

Supervisor "I'm sorry we can't sign the papers to approve your vacation days" Me:

Calling me a ho cuz I’m handsome is insane

when you finally do your laundry and all your top-tiers clothes are back

I noticed Gen Z ppl don’t carry umbrellas. They just walk in the rain lol

It’s a shame bc I love eating pussy but not every pussy worth being ate

Leaving the 18-24 age range this week…

“I hate this job” *gets paid*

my mom was really serving us home cooked meals every single day…… younger me didn’t realize how much work and how much of a blessing that is

seeing my age group as TEACHERS is hilarious 😭😂