I reckon, on the way into the snooker, a steward covertly blows something in one chosen person's face that makes them cough on and off for 4 hours.
They're fine when they get there, but they're fucked when they leave.

I remember the first time I read Henry V, and falling about laughing at 'the field of Agincourt on the day of St Crispin Crispy Anus'

(I didn't know about ahnoos when I was 14)

Start giving Greens the space at the panel you would usually be giving the same 12 Tufton Twats challenge, The UK Media. I KNOW the conversation about climate crisis would be a bit more grown up & scary than culture war baby talk, but it's something Brits actually care about

the haters said Susan Hall couldn’t do it. and they were correct. honestly great call from the haters

I mean… this is just entertaining now

'ACTUALLY, it's not as close as that one outlier poll that was clearly mental, so all my 'sources say it's going to be so close' waffle is *almost* correct, actually'

Maybe next election stick to reporting facts and not psychic visions based on nothing.

Henry V is obviously a great play and KennyB does a FINE job of it all. But Emma Thompson and Geraldine McEwan steal it. Le foot et le coun indeed!

#ShakespeareSaturday

It's been a bad one today my dudes. A scary bad one. Been a while.
See you all tomorrow though, so not the baddest bad one! #brightside

Spent my evening ruining my teeth with Milk Duds because im having A Sad.

Oh Theakston's.
What the hell is this?

Having a really really shit day and I blame being awake before 8am.

Barge outside has been rattling its diesel engine since half seven. It just turned off and the silence is almost too beautif- oh, it's back on. Nevermind.

Really dragging my feet on getting started today. Been up since 7, had some breakfast, looked at an outside bird.

Isn't thst enough for one day?!?

I'm annoyed at Co-Op Live, being called that cos I think 'The Coop' is a great name for a venue with top headline potential.
'Take That have flown the Coop', is just one hilarious example.

Oh the chuckles I have.

BBC keep saying 'Labour lost Oldham' but not following it up with 'they’ve lost overall control, with 5 seats going to Independents'. Instead they immediately talk about the Tories, implying Oldham voted Tory.

They didn't.

#LocalElections2024

How do you get to be a vote counter? I love counting things.

Lab was a lock in my ward, so I voted Green. It's great to see them picking up seats and votes in general!

Don’t want to the suggest they are getting bored in Blackpool, but one of the party activists has just started moonwalking…

#LocalElections2024