Watching my partner blast thru her to-do list (girl boss) while I cut the sleeves off a sweatshirt bc they're "suffocating" (boss baby)

Lesbian midnight is 9:45pm

em dashes are queer, idk what to tell you

I had corn and ice cream for dinner last night and can't figure out why I feel insane today

i'm sorry sir but all dishes labelled (gf) on the menu are only for girlfriends

When we invite comedians to laugh at the climate crisis in a new way, what’s possible? Together with our partner Center for Media & Social Impact (CMSI), we developed the #ClimateComedyCohort to find out. hubs.ly/Q01lj1kJ0

I'm nonbinary but was raised as a Jersey girl so I actually identify as two guys, a girl, and a pizza place

Tomorrow: a show with star power. Featuring me: a gas giant. Tix: eventbrite.com/e/earth-to-mar…

The Godfather is Star Wars for Italians

Roses are red Thunder makes sound The water's boiling for

And the tickets go to... littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb…

I went bowling and pulled something in my arm which isn't as embarrassing as I thought it was bc that whole sport is throwing a kettlebell down a hallway 🎳

Oh god we're gonna get cancelled with something like #OscarsSoFunny or (my personal pref) #OscarsTooGay #Oscars

And as I've always said, ilana michelle carmi and I are one of the best things to do in New York 🎟️ littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb…

"Did I fart or is that just what it smells like in here?" and Other Questions I've Asked the Room: A Memoir

As a writer, I have chosen maybe the weirdest time to start a newsletter but at least it's appropriately named Eventually, This Will Be Funny nikkipalumbo.beehiiv.com/p/hard-launch via beehiiv 🐝

Sorry but Jan Sixth is a perfect drag name

Donna DeCarolis is the Pres. of National Fuel Gas, a gas company. So she gaslights the public and policy makers. Don't let #DonnaDeCarolis and @natfuelgas gaslight New Yorkers. Let's #ShutTheFossilsUp #climatechange #newyork stfu.team