Marriage is wild. Cooked my husband a childhood favorite meal tonight and told him how much I love him and now am considering cutting out his tongue because he won’t stop making random noises while I’m trying to fall asleep. Wild.

Can someone please invite me to a Halloween party because I have a great costume idea

In today’s installment of “reasons why my husband makes me want to scream”

A rogue droplet of pork fat burned a tiny hole in my chin, but pretty worth it to make these pork belly tacos

If you go to a concert, you shouldn’t be trying to shout above the performer to have a conversation 😒

Giveaway confirmed! Spelljammer: Adventures in Space If I have 16k followers by 08/16/22, I’ll send someone a copy or this long-awaited D&D 5e release. Like, Follow, Retweet, And comment.

Husband and I are debating on what to do with an empty space next to our media unit. The options are a bar cart or bunk beds for our cats. Weigh in:

“What’s super cool is we don’t have to actually bring our Xboxes on our honeymoon. With cloud gaming we — ” And that’s when I handed him the divorce papers.

It’s my last day of work before my wedding and honeymoon and my coworkers played D&D with me 🥹

Currently at target buying a tie on our way to our wedding weekend because we never got one for my husband #oops

Married my best friend (again)

“So, what was your favorite part of your honeymoon?” *thinking about the night we spent wearing matching robes watching Shrek 2 and eating Doritos* “I mean it’s so hard to pick, Maui is so beautiful.”

I find myself ashamed that just over a year into my marriage I have to hide things from my husband. It’s just that if he knew I were getting soup dumplings without him while on my lunch break, I don’t think this marriage would last.

I got my second #COVID19 booster yesterday! My body is aching and I slept for 12 hours, but I’m more than grateful my immune system is working to protect me 💪🏼

Yes hello 911 I made a ✨perfect✨ vodka sauce and my husband praised it for the first few bites and then COATED IT WITH GARLIC SALT. COME ARREST HIM.

Sometimes I wonder if those clickbait-y YouTube videos actually work and capture people’s attention and then see my dad watching “10 HILARIOUS Scares You WON’T BELIEVE | Funny T Rex Public Prank” and laughing until there are tears in his eyes.

My husband and I do the 2022 version of forwarding email chains to each other, which is just air dropping Reddit posts of cute animals being nice to other cute animals.

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ISO a listicle of things to buy for my idiot husband who thinks “maybe a sweater with a hood on it” would be a good Christmas list addition

Thank you Elton John. Tonight was magic. #EltonFarewellTour