The question they should ask in job interviews isn’t “do you work well with others?” It should be “do you work well with idiots?”

Honestly considering law school just to take as much money away from major corporations as possible

Anyone else feel a deep existential sadness tonight? Aight coo

I’ve had the same arc at every job. I gain a good reputation very fast, do great work. Then I discover that doing great work doesn’t lead to extra compensation or leniency or respect so I begin to resent my job and my superiors, create a cantankerous work environment, then quit

*goes on 1 date* *eats top ramen for dinner for 2 weeks*

Twitter is for feelings, threads is for lol

I feel bad and nothing makes me feel good but I am doing well otherwise

LOUIS CK weighs in on the SAG-AFTRA strike

You ever be in the shower having anxiety induced conversations in your head?

There’s nothing worse than someone you barely know sending you reels everyday. What a strange phenomenon.

I’m out on all humor that involves beer, tacos, or pizza.

The obvious next step in my evolution is to become a burning man guy

I think Dawson’s Creek formed all my opinions in life

Wait why does he need a new running mate? What happened to the other guy?

Elon Musk, the world’s richest person, is donating $45 million a month to the Trump campaign. If democracy is to survive in the US, we need to overturn Citizens United and move to public funding of elections. We need a government that represents all, not just billionaires.

I love how every time a republican speaker goes for the “cool/hip” angle, the crowd always reacts confused.

I’m back on this account for election season bb. My anger can’t take it.

These are the people taking real comedians’ spots