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You don't get to repurpose a classic consulting joke for your stupid election

they're cutting you out of the biopic bro. your role is being done by a composite character

I’m putting together a team

Welcome to year 2.

They are inventing new forms of white boy every day…

We’re never quitting this app.

me after hearing the new hire was born in 2003

first week at the united states weather factory and i accidentally sent another hurricane to florida🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️i am SO getting written up.....

Shout out Danny Green for giving me the greatest heart attack of all time with exactly 9.6 seconds left in game 6 of the 2019 finals

Donald Trump is the 44th great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

. Drizzy FUTURE/FREEBANDZ Metro Boomin we all bruddas. Music aint the same without us collabin

Using the Mercator Projection on a sphere is bold

Doesn't affect me. Some of you aren't built for this and it shows. Take your ass to Florida or Texas or some shit

[Inside the Mesoamerican Ballgame League] Ernie: “An absolutely shocking upset today, the top-seeded Tenochtitlan Eagles lost to the Tlacopan Jaguars in an action-packed playoff match” Shaq: “Where they goin, Chuck?” Charles: “Sacrificed to Huitzilopochtli"

Can’t believe the British media made Max drive like that

- Out in Q1 - misses his start box - crashes into another RB team driver - runs another driver off the road - moans about everything under the sun - finishes 17th - silences the haters #F1

I’m not a steppe nomad… I’m the nomad who stepped up

being a fincher head in 2024 is harder than being in the marines