“Hey, wont be my problem by then. Just thought you should know.”

Taking a friend visiting and asking for the best Chicago hot dog to the stand they have inside Home Depot

I know Polyphemus is having a moment now that he’s got his podcast and everything. I’ll admit I’ve seen clips that are kind of funny. I just find it hard to forget that he ate all those people but that’s me.

Always a really funny bit for me when Return of the King opens with pre-ring Sméagol when he was a hobbit but you still hear the stupid voice come out of him when he says “Go on! Go on!” fishing

pitching this YouTube Thumbnail for any video essay about the 2004 Fat Albert movie

Friends, Raghda needs money for medicine for her children. It's only $54 and I've paid some already, can we please help her make up the rest of the amount?

“Search” my ass. He’s right there.

Garfield sequel a little surprising considering that one last year was neither well-liked or even a big enough hit. It barely cracked $250m worldwide with a character everyone knows.

guy that stays miserably poor on purpose so he can visit the aquarium for free

Now that the embargo has lifted, I can reveal that last night I went to a special screening of Superman. After the movie, Jimmy Olsen himself came out as a surprise, but most of the audience booed him.

“I lost all my men at sea, but enjoy your popcorn shrimp”

crazy that nobody else calls these “Doughy Davids” outside of Mt. Prospect IL

this is scarier than the opening to any found footage film

I told my dentist (in confidence) that the dental hygienist and her assistant were squirting toothpaste and water into my mouth for fun to see how much it could hold. They called it “Dentist’s cocktail”. He just laughed at me and said “go somewhere else then.”

Foot fetishist TSA agent who would go “and the socks too!” getting the worst news of his life today