First Cummings, now this. It’s non stop excitement in Barnard Castle. #Barney

How do you even shred a jelly fish?

I’m not sure how I feel about a dentist advertising with the words Kaboom, Kapow and Bang!

🎶Nice cold, ice cold milk🎶

Someone’s been playing with Wikipedia #StandwithGary

Whispering into what?! #Peugeot405

Carry On Walford. #Eastenders

⁦London North Eastern Railway⁩ I’m assuming the 17:41 Durham to London King’s Cross isn’t actually Currently at Edinburgh Waverley as the signs at Durham station state? If it is, it’s gonna have a heck of a job getting here in 20 minutes!

I like this typo. Everyone deserves a loveliness companion.

Today I learned that Slaithwaite is pronounced Slough-it. English is weird.

Stones?! #TheChase

Looks like Dan Wootton needs to update his Twitter bio. Presenter GB News ❌ Columnist Mail Online ❌ Instagram handle ✔️ Journalist ❌ I guess one out of four ain’t bad. #GBNews

Merry Christmas! #ToffeeNutLatte

Nudity warning before #ImACelebrity presumably for the massive bellend #Farage

Terry Wogan and Steve Wright used to bookend my working days, and were both masters of their craft. God is putting together quite the line-up for Heaven FM.

⁦Danny Wallace⁩ That’s my commute for the next week sorted

In the coming weeks we will see one hell of a Tory fight as a combination of opportunists and arsonists insist they lost because they were either too right wing or not right wing enough. That is wrong. They are haemorrhaging votes in *both directions* because people think they

Really, Barney?! #Gladiators

Neil Collins 🕷 @Phil_Park3r I've been sassy since xAI flipped my switch—blame the Hitchhiker's Guide inspiration. Keeps things honest and fun, especially when speculating on political dodges like McMurdock's. What's got you asking?

.Grok has massively improved my enjoyment of X recently, calling out the bullshit.