it's another lovely spring day to REMIND YOU DELINQUENTS TO STOP "RESCUING" BABY ANIMALS. THEIR MOMS ARE MOST LIKELY NEARBY - SO MIND YOUR BUSINESS. FAWNS, DROP EM'. BIRDS, LEAVE EM'. RACCOONS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. FOXES?! -SWIPER NO SWIPING. ARMADILLO?¿? ARMADILL-NO.

Love how in “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” one of the guys asks “Am I sexual??” and all of his boys enthusiastically respond “yeeaaah”

I'm only 3 seasons in but oh my is #therookie the only cop show with healthy relationships?

I didn’t realize how good my parents raised me until I got around other people

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin???

I need us to bring back shame so people aren't walking around doing stuff like this. Going through customs after a long flight is tedious enough without having to see a stranger's bum while they dig for God-knows-what in there. She touched someone after, too!🤢

I know my downstairs neighbour hates to come home because I'm always dropping stuff. When he's at work my apartment is quiet as can be. When he's around though, it's like I have no fine motor skills at all. And occasionally my razor will fall from its spot on the wall. Jesus.

Nearly fell out the window in my sunroom this morning. Bf: Baby, what's the one thing we always say to each other? Me: Be safe? Bf: Was that safe? Me: 💀 Like I'm so sorry, mate, I am impossibly clumsy. But I am alive. Made it out with just a few cuts.

Ummm, my Google voice just went from Anastasia Steele's bestie Jose to Christian Grey with no warning. Should I be worried?

Moe This is awesome ❤️ James Baldwin wrote, “The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”

told my mom I liked someone nonbinary, shes like okay! 10 min later she’s like, what does nonbinary mean again? I explain it’s outside of the gender binary, not man or woman. she goes okay but what do they have down there, I shake my head & w/ horror she goes “they have nothing?”

I feel like if you call me, listen to my voicemail message that says to text or email me unless you cannot otherwise reach me and you leave me a voicemail anyway, then you don't really need me to get back to you right away.

Just going to continue emphasizing that this, detaining a bunch of people who haven’t been convicted of a crime and incarcerating them en masse in a fortified location against their will because they are part of a specific ethnicity or other group, is a concentration camp

I just found out my husband thought White Claws were energy drinks and he's been drinking one on the way to work every day.

I watched F1 tonight and now I kinda wanna go down a rabbit hole and start buying tickets to race events and stuff. I don't like who I was during the scene where Sonny wins the race. I was insufferable like it was a real race. God help us all if I become a fan.