Petition to have Onion tell us how much winter is left tomorrow, instead of that rodent in Pennsylvania! Sign below.

DOWN GO THE WHITE SOX! DOWN GO THE WHITE SOX!!! The fans of the Pale Hose went nuts. One of the most restrained responses was from the party they dissed. “Social Media Team to the PR office, please…?” #TheBigHurt

Clasé and Ortíz. Does anyone really believe they are the ONLY TWO??? Will MLB try to find out? I doubt it. What they’re afraid of is obvious: by uniting themselves with legal betting services, MLB may uncover betting on an almost incomprehensible level.

“I beat #LindseyVonn in the training run by .42 seconds!” “True. But she did it on one (surgically rebuilt) leg.” #Olympics

Like I’ve been saying… that monster arbitration 💸💸💸 decision means that Skubal is G - O - N - E. The Motor City Kitties are just trying to preemptively soften the blow by saying, “Hey guys, look over here!”

True Truth. Roll Along, Willi! #ForwardFalcons #AyZiggy #MadhouseOnMercer

Waino’s right. Make it so.

Re: 🇨🇦 Coach having a little “whine” with his postgame poutine about the 3-on-3 OT format. Honest question: WHO exactly would the coach have rather had out there???

You are right Dick Vitale and Dan Dakich . MAC grads unite! #MACtion

The Wonder from Down Under. 🔥🇦🇺

If there’s any national voice who understands how hard the MAC is, Dakich is that guy. #PutMiamiIn #AyZiggy #NCAAMBB

Perfect song to lead into this evening’s sermon. Thank you Fernando Ortega !

Amen y Amen #MACtion

The 5th Sunday of Lent Twila Paris’ lyrics are as perfect now as they were 35 years ago. How beautiful, the hands that served The wine and the bread, and the sons of the Earth How beautiful, the feet that walked The long, dusty roads and the hill to the cross…

A human, statesmanlike response.

The Guards got a winny With 2 bombs from West Virginny Y’oughter see this kid DeLauter

50 years ago today. Perhaps the current occupants of the Capitol could use a refresher. Ya’think…?

Tick… tick… tick… #TheWonderFromDownUnder 🇦🇺

Parker Messick throws 6 shutout innings against the World Champions, and strikes out Ohtani in the 6th on a changeup. #GuardsBall

You know, Bro.