Scratched my knee elbow and hand. Very painful. On the plus side, I did manage to recover my phone from the man who took it at the bus stop.

Twisted my righ foot running to the bus. It is stiff and sore every morning. Worried I have a hairline fracture.

I drank my beer too fast. I feel like there is a bubble in my chest.

Myailments Jr. dislocated his elbow today. Had to go to urgent care. He's all fixed now. My right foot still hurts though.

Myailments Jr. Jr. grabbed my eyelid while riding on my shoulders. May have scratched my cornea.

Twisted my ankle outside ice cream shop. Yes....it was the right one.

Co-worker shot me with a rubber band to get me away from the inbox. Appear to have suffered minor welt. Hope violence does not escalate.

Was playing with a train whistle...might have gotten a little bit too in to it...feeling extremely light headed and dizzy.

My Ailments Jr. has a torn eardrum. Doctor assures me it is not due to my vigorous use of the train whistle.

Relieved I didn't cause torn eardrum. Think I may be John Popper of train whistle. But refuse to put train whistling above family's health