Shedeur Sanders Confident He Can Deliver Everything Browns Fans Have Come To Expect theonion.com/shedeur-sander…

Remember when Colin Farrell threatened to buttfuck a kid’s headless mom in front of his beat-to-shit dad and Vince Vaughn pulled a guy’s teeth out while saying weird shit like “Never even had a fucking cavity” in True Detective and people said this was bad.

November 22nd, 2012: Never forget what happened on the play directly after the butt fumble

We need to give Vegas back to the mafia. Sam "Ace" Rothstein would never allow this.

amon ra st brown hasn’t caught a pass since he did a certain thing on the field

New England Sports Fellow Paula Storre Pablo Torre 👀 Pablo Torre Finds Out Have fun with discovery

New England Sports Fellow Paula Storre Pablo Torre 👀 Pablo Torre Finds Out Coughing baby sues hydrogen bomb

gu̸c̸c̸i̸fe̸r WHY I OUTTA

and shes right

youtu.be/td4qv7EDOIk?si…

me when i soft launch my illegitimate child

I don't know about anyone else, but in terms of my life, this is some impactful shit right here. Thank you, Joel, Trace, Josh, Kevin, and Jim.

kyle Whenever I try to do that, it turns into the hit man scene from Mulholland Drive.

“noo my italian grandmother would have a heart attack if she saw you breaking spaghetti in half before cooking it” ok well what was your italian grandmother doing in the 1940’s. what was she supporting in the 1940’s in italy

nowadays they’re called swifties

FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College theonion.com/fda-bans-capta…

John A. Douglas 🌐 🇺🇸🇺🇦Mar G-O 🏳️‍🌈

A couple of national guardsmen getting shot in DC by an Afghan repatriated here after Kabul fell is about as literal an example of blowback from the forever wars as you are likely to see

very nice!

Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life theonion.com/man-getting-hi…