"pro tip: cover the sound of your fart by dropping something"

me fighting the urge to not kms over one small inconvenience

Stop having sex with women who can’t take you out on dates, pay for you haircut, or support your dreams. You’re somebody’s son bro.

If magic fucking johnson kissed me I might shoot that nigga 😭😭

The ENTIRE west side of Chicago.

Trusting a guy to finish someone who couldn’t finish dan hooker with a shattered arm at the end of round 1 AND LOST BY DECISION should have been all of our first clues 😂😂

This is gayer than two dudes kissing.

I have never related to anything more in my entire life

PAUL MERCEDES NISSAN AL-GAIB

Nah I am actually dying 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

when i get ahold of a caniac combo with no slaw and extra bread x.com/ShepDanellos/s…

I really like this answer 🥹

Robin Williams was the true definition of "put others before yourself" fly high legend

him saying “turn it up🤓” will forever take me out LMFAOOO😭😭😭

LMAOOOOO

Gavin Newsom, without blinking: “He wants a Nobel Peace Prize while deploying Marines against his own people?” Trump didn’t bring peace — he brought the battlefield home. He sent U.S. troops into U.S. cities. Ponder on that for a moment.