If you unfollow me, I hope you get Crocs for Christmas.

I hate texting people first. I feel awkward, annoying and unwanted.

Am I the only one that likes to move around while talking on the phone? I can't just stay in one spot...

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

:S :C :H :O :O :L You can't find happy faces.

Crazy simple shortcut to a killer 6-pack, learn how Brad Pitt uses this secret 2 get sexy muscles FAST goo.gl/btPkm - sp

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

Retweet if you have ever ran up the stairs in fear because you felt an evil presence behind you.

Night before school: I want to look attractive tomorrow. Morning of school: Never mind.

Closing your left and right eye to see how an object changes places when you're extremely bored.

What were the best games of the year? Find out during #VGA on @SpikeTV! Watch tonight 9PM ET bit.ly/THFleK - sp

Blanket on: too hot. Blanket off: too cold. 1 leg out: perfect, until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs it & drags you down the hall

Check out This amazing formula to provide incredible muscle growth so you can get ripped goo.gl/6GEqr - sp

I hate when it's dark and my brain is like, "Hey remember that horror movie where ....''

It's probably good Lebron put the headband back on huh

I’m worried that when i am 69 years old i will laugh for an entire year.

#Fact