Dear The North Face EU send me a waterproof that actually works or what? We’ve had this chat before. Issued a waterproof by work-not waterproof & kills a Sony Experia in the pocket. You send me a replacement-not waterproof & I give up. Issued another waterproof-not waterproof again

There is a theory that billions of years ago plants used the molecule retinal instead of chlorophyll, which would make all plant life on Earth appear purple instead of green.

Don’t forget that you can still fire lightning bolts at your mortal enemy’s ballbag whilst responsibly maintaining a safe social distance.

Does he have any issues with fur and animal horns? Perhaps the leather tassels on his trousers and used for his shoes aren’t an issue for him either.

He was in most of his routines...

Heads up for the Real Ones out there.

Me no geologist, but me think dat rock look a lot like me...

It's perfectly normal behaviour to go to bed wearing boots, furry underpants and a breastplate. Well, perfectly normal if you're a complete fucking idiot.

BREATHE - THE PRODIGY featuring RZA - (LIAM H & RENE LAVICE RE-AMP) #F9

Greedy turd Nigel Farage MP not only convinced people to vote leave the EU while offering absolutely no plan, who made millions of £s by openly shorting the GBP on the cusp of Brexit, now wants to assure us the government screwed us but he wants your money: fortuneandfreedom.com

Doesn’t look like I’ll be attacking Castle Grayskull today. I’ve finally got to the front of the queue at this petrol station and they’ve run out of fucking fuel.

Life can be tough. But try and take a moment to focus on things that make you happy - like a walk in a place that evokes fond memories, revisiting a book from a favourite author or remembering the noise He-Man makes when you kick him in the fucking plums. #WorldMentalHealthDay

⁦Kath 💙🙀🇪🇺✊🏾⁩ can you confirm or deny this?

If everyone who has been grateful for NHS staff over the last two years followed and retweeted, we would reach a million in no time. It will only take a few seconds, and your support would really mean a lot to a huge number of people who continue to fight Covid-19.

Someone has scratched my Chaka Demus and Pliers cd and no-one is admitting to it. To say I'm livid is a fucking understatement.

I once met the Minions. Absolute bunch of cunts.

Happy Judgment Day…

I’m a Island boy and I’m just gonna island boy 🏝

Heard that there was a massive fucking bellend hiding out in the jungle but there’s no sign of He-Man, just some bloke called Matt Hancock.