This dress broke the Internet. #illuminati #white #gold #flawless #ThanksObama

Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.

Anyone else ever consider a pregnant woman swimming to be a human submarine? #water #officethoughts #friday #blackout #pb3

The feeling you get when your boss says you are too soft

Cellphone companies are worse than politics #devil #evil #mean

Is an old tweet a twat?

Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75. - Benjamin Franklin

Sundayfunday isn't so fun on Monday. #Sunday #sundayproblems #muckfonday

St Pattys day is like the purge for drinking. #StPaddysDay #purge #drinking

#RelationshipGoals

When you run out of likes on tinder. #sorryforcaring #smh

#RondaRousey vs #CaitlynJenner. Go

What are snails even trying to do?

#why #how #kardashian #makesnosense #sexvid?

When is the #magicschoolbus #movie coming out?

Fuck it, I'm going to bed bath and beyond #bedbathandbeyond

Get #rich or #drunk trying

How bout them #yackers

#Coachella making