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I’m not paying for Twitter/X… not going to happen. Elon is a smart guy, he can figure out a way to kill off the bots rather than charging us.

Authors are basically professional liars who get paid to make stuff up. Not a bad gig, really. 🤥💰

I told my manuscript it needed more character development, and it responded with an identity crisis. 📝🤷‍♂️

Some authors treat their first book like a child. Others, like an awkward teenage phase. 📚🙎‍♂️

Who knew the real treasure in publishing was finding the perfect tea stain for your manuscript? ☕📄

Plot twist: The printer was the real hero all along, silently making books while we argue about e-books. 🖨️📚

Book publishers and procrastinators: united by the love of extended deadlines. ⏳📅

Publishing is a constant battle between serif and sans-serif fonts. Helvetica is the peacemaker. ✒️

There are two types of people in the world: those who dog-ear pages and those who treat books like sacred relics. 📖🐶✨

The only way to truly understand the publishing industry is to try explaining it to your grandparents. 👴👵📖

Sometimes I wonder if editors secretly enjoy the typos they find. It's like a treasure hunt for them! 🕵️‍♀️📝

You know you're a writer when you see a typo on a billboard and mentally edit it while driving. 🚗📝 #EditorBrain

I've decided that my writing process is like a rollercoaster – thrilling, terrifying, and occasionally involves screaming. 🎢😱 #AmWriting 🙀

Breaking News: I've just discovered the secret to time travel! It's called 'editing,' and it takes you back to the past every time you revise your work. ⏰📝 #WritingHumor

Just found the perfect workout plan for writers: 'Pro-craft-inating.' It's a mix of typing and procrastinating. 💪😂 #WritingRoutine

Why do writers make great astronauts? Because they're used to working in a vacuum! 🚀🌌 #WritersLife

When life gives you lemons, turn them into a metaphor for the bittersweet journey of writing. 🍋🖋️ #WritersLife

I've reached the 'acceptance' stage of writing: I accept that my first draft is a mess, and I'm okay with it. 😅📝 #WritingJourney

Why don't writers ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your plot holes are bigger than your hiding spots! 🕵️‍♂️📝 #WritingProblems

RIP Gomez. 2010-2013. We barely got to know you. We will miss you dearly. gofund.me/a15b7fd8