My son’s home economics class is refusing to teach both sides. I demand they eat raw chicken to experience food poisoning. It’s not that bad. Hardly any of them will die.

Best from my state:
Athlete - Ali
Literature - Hunter S Thompson
Actor - Depp/Clooney
Music - Bill Monroe
Politician - Abe Lincoln

Republicans warned of taco trucks on every corner if we elected Democrats. We elected Democrats and I’m still waiting for my reward.

I demand Ted Lasso take over the #USMNT .

When was the last steal of home in a playoff game?

In 1861 Kentucky Senator John C Breckinridge was expelled from the US Senate for joining the Confederate Army. When will Rand Paul be expelled for joining the MAGA Army?

I might be the only one, but I appreciate Trump’s constant efforts to remind us that he lost to a guy he claimed was “sleepy”.

MAGAs will implant a chip in their pet in case it gets lost or stolen. Will they vaccinate their children for the same reason?

Covid is a gateway virus to Polio, small pox and measles.

Fox News is broadcasting the opinions of Nicki Minaj and Jim Breuer. This is not a joke. I'm not that creative.

If you’re a baseball fan, follow this account. His work is amazing. If you’re not a baseball fan, follow this man, he’s an artist.

My tribute #illustration of #MichaelKWilliams . Rest in peace, sir. #myart #myart work

Kelly Anne Conway was just fired by the guy who told her old boss “Shut Up”.

14,824 forcible rapes were reported in Texas in 2019. In 2020 that number increased. I am glad Governor Abbott is putting a stop to a problem he never knew existed.

The KY GOP’s solution to teacher shortage is having custodians teach. Who is going to clean the high contact areas after every class change if they are busy teaching Physics and Geography?

If Kleenex had fingernails I’d stop picking my nose.
- Scott (single but confident)

Sometimes, I can’t tell if a racist knows he is being racist.
What should I call this new game?

My neighborhood put American Flags out to commemorate Labor Day. This is an American holiday, and we should thank the liberals for fighting for worker’s rights like overtime, minimum wage, unemployment insurance and worker’s compensation.

My daughter is quarantined due to a classmate testing positive. She hates being called Li’l Rona.

Why does the Federalist Society hold a majority of SCOTUS seats?
Because James Comey announced an investigation. Trump bribed Zelinsky to announce an investigation because it worked before.