Tree is up. After the titanic struggle of getting it out of the attic and putting it together, I can’t be arsed to get the fairy lights and shite onto it. That’ll do for me.

I’m raging. I’ve just flown into Athens and had to join the Non EU queue at passport control. There was approximately 100 of us in the queue and it took a whole 5 minutes to get through. I demand to wait an hour at least because that is how long the remainers tell me it takes.

Just got off a long haul flight and I’ve never been crammed into a tin tube with so many annoying people in my life- people disobeying the staff, another man blocking the aisle,reading,for the entire journey. Half of me wanted the plane to crash to put me out of their misery!!!

Quite possibly the most pointless Christmas present ever….

The Holy Trinity of men’s Christmas presents. Never disappoints, does it lads?

Let’s get this out of the way nice and early.

Holocaust Memorial Day today. I found this pile of thousands of meticulously labelled suitcases the most harrowing sight when I visited Auschwitz. All part of deception on a grand scale by the Nazis.

This is why I don’t go out drinking very often.

The vast majority of the “far right” who are “on the march” across Europe are ordinary people who had no problem with managed immigration, are not racist, respect the rights of people in other countries, indeed would hope for them that they retain their own culture and distinct

Saw this in a toilet in a Rome bar last weekend. Totally ruined my plans for later that evening.

Friend of mine was having a clear out and found these collectors items that had been left behind by the previous owners of her house. They’re up for sale - any bidders for these gentlemen’s art pamphlets?

Nice to see that our £50 million is being put to good use. What was David Lammy thinking? Apologies if you find the footage upsetting.

Pissed off! Just had the 3rd tax bill in as many months. I’ve no idea what payroll are doing in my company, but I’ve either annoyed someone there or in HMRC. I’m so pleased that my tax is subsiding the lazy twats in my village who have never worked since leaving school. Raging!

Christ. It’s no wonder that I look so old!

I just saw this 3 series for sale - the seller wants £8000 for an L plate with 125k on the clock. I think that the seller is being a bit ambitious. Personally, I wouldn’t touch it.

Just nipped into my local Co-Op which is in a quiet seaside town. They’ve had to put some of their meat into security containers to deter the thieving gits. Welcome to the brave new world.

How very true.

A Scotland Yard firearms officer could be sacked 10 years after shooting dead a gangster during an attempted prison break, The Telegraph can reveal. The highly trained marksman, known only by the cypher W80, shot and killed Jermaine Baker in December 2015 as the 28-year-old

I know that as members or former members of the emergency services we all take the piss out of each other, particularly the Fire Brigade, but they’re brave guys and girls and this tragedy reflects that.

open.substack.com/pub/esnreport/… Early release a great idea, Home Secretary? Yvette Cooper