@15and9smom @tiredmama99 @MommysOnValium Snarky Mommy @Mrs_JGplus3 @sah_nursemom A-MOM-ymous @motherlyqueer @leeleebb21 @someboysmother Mother of Discontent Your Mom @YourMomsucksTho @CaliSun34 Kathleen Lulu Roche

Despite my husband being a total looser at ANYTHING domestic or family related, he is mighty fine at cooking BBQ. Obv’s I have to follow him with bleach during food prep as he is oblivious to raw meat contamination... phah! I’ll just open another bottle of wine. #hotweather

4 has discovered he likes the sensation of ice cubes on his willy!!!.......... this is going to be interesting on the next diner,pub or McDonald’s trip!!!

2 is obsessed with my nipples again!! ... not the worst thing to happen but..... I wish she had’nt tried to pull my top down and tweak them in front of the vicar at our summer Fayre today! 😖

My husband lost his job on Monday last week.. I then went for a 3 day work conference. thus I have had to endure a 3 day hangover.but still not sure I drank enough, to cope with the week ahead. What with 2 weeks until our house sale goes through & no idea where we will now live!

Back! Actually back on Twitter! Have taken some time out and decided you guys are actually much better than real life peeps and way cheaper than therapy! Missed you! Love you all cxxx

Total carnage.... mummy trying to make eldest’s home work of a dinasaur! Mummy needs wine..... am I the only one that still does their kids homework??

Homework ✔️

To leave or to wait for him to die naturally... that is the question!

Still haven’t been able to wrap any presents. Youngest isn’t going to sleep before 10 pm for last month and I work every second I am not with them.... Literally think they will be opening black bags on christmas morning. Perhaps I should just throw some glitter on and be done!

Finally started wrapping some presents. Of cause with a toddler, I have been having to do them locked in the bathroom. “Mummyyyyyyy mummmmmyyyyyy is your poooooo really big?”

And the highlight of Xmas day is the Gavin and Stacy Xmas special! ..... fuck this shit.....this roll on the new year......

In bed with toddler at 11pm.... standard. HNY non parents..... stay strong parents.

6am and awake with the 3 year old again.... it’s Sunday. Give me a break!! My work alarm is 5.30 5 days a week..... a lye in would be my dream for 2020

7 back at school tomorrow, and only now does her show me his holidays homework! Fuck

FFS! What kind of an animal leaves the packing when the commence has gone ????????? Murder could be on the cards!

As usual I’m woken by the little people with several night time demands. Husband comes down an hour later than me and makes the statement that he ‘had a terrible nights sleep’....... I am literally considering killing him with my cereal spoon!

Seriously’ !!!! In my day you would have been beaten up at school for turning up with radish slices or Beatroot cubes! In your packed lunch! WTF is this?