I got 2 beers I’m Boise and gasped when the bill was $10

I know ITS about to happen because I cried when McDonald’s forgot my fries

These 2nd dose side effects are nooo joke

The audacity that sweet and sour has to have Both baby corn and pineapple

I have been feeling lost because I don’t have any long term plans and I have always been very analytical and type A..... but then my friend reminded me that making a spreadsheet of my life plans for the next year was very on brand

Hi can someone gift me half a million so I can start my own diner in a town with a population of 500? Thanks!

Whoever writes the LinkedIn notifications needs to shut the fu k up

x.com/30_rock_quotes…

I relate to men in the way I don’t care what other people are saying.

Eating toast gave me the spins

lol when you post the second part of a private story on public 🙄

Not me “packing” for a trip by throwing clothes in my car with no bag whatsoever .......

Got free work done on my car because I have an extended warranty?

Bought some low rise jeans and now I’m actin up

Is it just me or did sudokus get harder?

Got a job in Colorado after studying jobs in every other state except Colorado for 4 months …….

My coffee order is 4 shots over ice and at this point if I’m not drinking shots of espresso it just tastes watered down 🙄

Hi, can I get 5 more of these little blonde bitches