If you taught an artificial intelligence bot to write for the Sydney Morning Herald, on the day it perfected its learning, it would produce this exact paragraph.

long live local news

Whoever filled out a cougar sighting report and wrote "your mother" under the description drop your @ we just want to talk

sorry @maxhoma23 i still wanna get a beer dude golf.com/news/features/…

tbh i really just wanna see nick adams play golf - crikey.com.au/2023/01/19/nic…

Hey Now at @[email protected] can you please follow for a DM? cheers

Howdy, Michael Aulia 🇦🇺 can you pls follow for a dm? :)

Afternoon Veena Sahajwalla AO could you follow for a DM please? :)

Howdy, Cameron Kusher can you pls follow for a DM? Thanks!

Howdy Andrew Putnam can you follow for a DM pls?

How bout that turnin pitch huh #INDvsAUS

jadeja is the world's best bowler. change my mind #INDvsAUS

Howdy, Chris Weston can you check your messages for a DM from me? Cheers,

Hey Stephen Koukoulas, would you mind following for a DM? Cheers,

the Fitzpatrick, bon iver, US Open combo in #FullSwing is some weird combo of my interests that is making me FEEL

I just fist pumped at tiger's holed but at 18. what is wrong with me lmao

i'm hoping for an Albany Creek Crushers away shirt

more proof that time is a circle that will engulf us all

like if everyone is losing distance… is anyone?

hey mate, Tyson Otto can u follow for a DM pls