“I’m in love with the shape of you.” - me eating pears

About to drink a fifth of a 5 Hour Energy because I only need one hour of energy

PSA: Apparently if you live within 5 miles or less of any delivery place, you're not in their service area.

"I mean no disrespect." ~People who are clearly disrespecting you.

I don’t think I’ve thought this through.

Never trust anyone who needs blackout shades to take a nap.

No thank you, Homescapes. If I wanted to try to save, feed, and shelter people, I would've had more children.

Looking at me is a good way to feel better about yourself!

Why do people that build a "tiny house" buy so much acreage?

Appears there were too many people that read the book "Teeny-Tiny Woman" as a child and decided to build teeny-tiny houses as an adult. That book was fiction, just so you know.

I don't get this "Tiny House" living. All of my plants alone wouldn't fit in a "Tiny House."

...when you're child tells you not to worry about their finances, then the next day asks for money.

If I was from Boston, I'd add Rs to every word that doesn't contain an R.

I just went viral on LinkedIn. Does that count?

Chime: "Get paid up to two days early." Don't people know this only potentially happens once and then just like before, that's your same pay day every week?

I'm at my coolest when I'm vaping while wearing my retainers.

Name your favorite rinds. Mine’s pork.

Old Dog , no tricks.