Not Shoppee trying to be funny by putting “strap on dildo” in my search box as I open the app only for those words to magically disappear and replace with “wireless charger”

“We’d made friction of each other And fiction of everything else” - Ocean Vuong

Watching Charli on the Coachella livestream and thinking of my daughter who similarly enjoys flinging herself to the floor, twisting and contorting and the dad voice in me goes “girl ah, the floor very dirty you know”

My latest SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS B-side: Talked to Stuart Berman about that early 2000s moment when it seemed like every cool new indie band was from Canada [link below]

no one tells you that at 46 you would delight at printing free math examination papers from your school for your own child to work on during the holiday. and yet, here we are

For every child (or adult) that accidentally shits their pants while outside, thank god for the nearest Uniqlo to avert disaster and save the fucking day

Hotel lobby playing muzak version of Teenage Dirtbag. What is life even.

46 year old man just got kicked in the face by a Thai teenager at a Bangkok Hardcore show. Zoff spectacles need realignment.

pain in life: credit card fraudulent transactions bigger pain in life: having to change recurring bill payments to aforementioned cancelled/ fraudulently used credit card

Just saw a monk on a motorcycle. That’s the tweet.

it is always sweet and endearing when someone calls me "bossku", but the truth, the reality is that i'm the boss of barely trying to hold my own shit together

🇯🇵 Takehiro Tomiyasu appeared on Atsuto Uchida’s football time programme. He revealed the circumstances of his Arsenal departure: “It was for the best, for both me and the club. It was amicable.” “When I was saying goodbye to each teammate, I realised I was really loved.” 🥲❤️

You know Barca are really broke when they can’t even afford the referee.

HANG IT IN THE LOUVRE.

Today is one of those days where big changes are announced, and you just have to take a moment before getting your swim/float game going

Guy sharing the table at Macs has remarked “Yi kuai chian er yi” (one dollar only) about 18 times in the past 10 minutes to his wife and friend. FFS we get it brother, the coffee is cheap.

The should have SkillsFuture course teaching people how to walk on the streets

I love you Leo

They are now even scoring from opponent's set pieces 🥀

Liverpool fans when somebody decides to walk alone.