my laptop bitch ass sucks now because of all the AI garbage it churns through before I can perform one single function. I'm about to finish this book on a typewriter

My 8-year-old says calmly, rationally, with no panic whatsoever, "Nana and Grandpa said we can't drink out of plastic cups anymore because the plastic can get in your body and form an object" and I just laughed because we're so fucked

Day 3 of trying to quit energy drinks cold turkey since they apparently are cancer juice and I'm in my forties anyway. I am definitely feeling addiction level pangs of cellular craving like cigs for one, yay

Yum just bit into a plastic shard in my Little Debbie, is this a sign from God that I'm supposed to give these up too? I've already quit drinking and energy drinks. Just give me something

Writing 60,000 words down knowing up front that they will be published is like playing the mental game of what would I choose for my last meal except I'm actually choosing it

My kid is watching Air Bud at school. I love that inspirational dog movies are always in the curriculum

Welp time to take old yeller out back

I can't afford a switch 2 nor do I have time for mario kart world right now, so I'm just vicariously reading Reddit posts and this cracks me tf up. I would work so hard for this.

surreal as usual, I have no idea how or why this happened or what I'm doing

google photos just asked me "same or different person?" on an older photo. Transition just to fool the AI.

I need the lil soda machine and happy meal display

Over the last week I've convinced myself I had a rare form of tinnitus that was signaling my arteries tightening in my head or possibly a brain tumor but now I think it was just earwax build up and I need someone to hold me

Naturally it was time to impulse buy a switch 2 because my book deadline is in 30 days, as I tell the cashier not to bag it up until after we make sure my card doesn't decline. This is so healthy

Just accepted a poem that made me cry, reevaluate my existential doom, and want to write a poem. This is why I do what I do. Please keep submitting, you never know the magazine reader or editor that will read your work and be moved to tears or have a pivotal shift in thinking.

This is an agonizing read as a parent and it destroyed me and a few of these descriptions will probably haunt me for the rest of my life, and now I'm sharing it in an attempt to move on from it. Here please take this article from me

Look at this one bottle of blue raspberry limeade I found that was gray

UPDATE: and then I discovered you actually have to write a book, which is such a nightmare, but I've done it. I wrote a freaking book and turned it in. Live Más.

Gonna swallow edibles and buy that open world donkey kong shit as my push present. Happy Friday