Now this is what a good deal looks like...

*BREAKING NEWS* My letter's just gone in

Jesus fucking Christ

Wedding bells 🔔 are ringing today for Nicholas Veevers - let’s try and get him to the church on time...

Lol

Future history books will record this particular political period with the horror, disgust and farce we deserve.

Surely being a linesman makes this MP more relatable and respected by his constituents? A visible job in one of the world’s most popular sports. Classic example of political geekary missing wider public point.

Metro Mayors working together on arrange of issues will be a feature of future decentralised landscape

This is basically the life of our Brexit cheerleaders for the next decade: Googling random excuses for the managed deindustrialisation of Britain.

Begging other sovereign countries to actively get involved in UK affairs is ‘taking back control’ apparently....

Farage couldn’t hide his glee as he warned of the possibly violent consequences of not leaving the EU in March. Now he’s pressing charges against a bloke for chucking a banana and salted caramel milkshake.

Unbelievable. We have shredded our international reputation, lost billions in investment and fractured our society all to save £50 a year per family. This is a parody, surely?

Here, ladies and gentlemen, we have someone standing for a political party and yet voting in an internal ballot to deselect the sitting MP of another political party. See the problem?

The great irony of Brexiteers bemoaning an apparent lack of EU democracy is that it is they who have repeatedly sought to curtail the EU’s democratic mandate.

UKIP were renowned for not turning up to committees, where the hard work was done. You then prepare a voting list for when in the chamber. Seems TBP are UKIP with lipstick. Just as lazy, just as ignorant and just as much a waste of money.

Some rather odd references in @thesundaytimes 2019 election guide. Number 15 in the Brexit Party Targets is Brighton Pavilion, which had one of the highest remain votes in the country and has a very safe Green MP. That would be quite the turnaround...

The Tories cheering on the smashing of every parliamentary convention we have left in pursuit of their pure brexit are the same Tories who will be desperate for these conventions to stop Jeremy Corbyn carrying out his plans for renationalisation et al. They are the real Marxists.

He’s back! Manneken Pis is again being dressed up in outfits, after wearing nothing but a face mask for 3 months. #LockdownBelgium is officially over.

COUNCILLORS. Avoid being mistaken for counsellors by making it clear you don't give a fuck about people or their problems. /via Phlegm Clandango

CONVINCE bank tellers they’re in prison by touching the glass divide and mouthing ‘I love you’. Then pass drugs through the gap. David