🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

It’s Friday which means it’s time to share your WINS OF THE WEEK! Did that nagging headache finally go away? Did you meet someone you think might be “the one?” Did your boobs get bigger? Share your WINS of the week—BIG OR SMALL!

Getting fired as a bachelor party stripper because I kept eating the cake I was supposed to pop out of

When you slather yourself in lotion after a shower

My new article is up and it’s all about BBQing with your favorite performers! Thank you Kendra Lust® Lexi Luna™️ SHOT BY REDACTED 🎬 Jim Nova 🌹 for sharing your savory meats with me! 🥩🍗Give it a read! 🍽️🍖

On a voicemail I “pressed 1 for more options” and someone broke down my door and stapled my tits to the kitchen table

On stands now! Make sure to pick up the 50th anniversary issue of HUSTLER Magazine ! I interviewed the amazing semendemon and asked her 50 bizarre/weird/hilarious questions (also there’s hot pics of boobs and butts and other fantastic articles!)

Getting my tits registered as service animals

date: should we split an appetizer? me: [thinking about how girls like surprises] i have a gun

Peppa going to get ran through while chugging Watermelon Smirnoff tonight 🥹

It’s Friday which means it’s time to share your WINS OF THE WEEK! Did you pet a bunch of dogs? Did you win the heavy weight championship? Did you finally finish reading a book you’ve had forever? Share your WINS of the week—BIG OR SMALL!

Cleopatra™️ is laundry now. She said “IT’S NOT A PHASE, MOM”

Kissing on the lips is so gross, that’s the part of the body used to eat ass

Not trying to brag but while I was on hold the recording said my call was very important to them 💅🏻

Tears are stored in the balls

🚨ATTENTION XXX STARS🚨 I’m writing an article for HUSTLER Magazine website about on-set/on-screen bloopers you’ve had! If you’d like to share your funny (or even embarrassing) event that happened during an XXX shoot, tweet or DM me for info!

･ *ﾟ   ･ ﾟ*      ･｡        *･｡       *.｡            ｡･                °*. ﾟ                   dried cum flakes                       ﾟ*.                  ｡｡ ･              ｡ ･ﾟ        ｡°*.    ｡*･｡

The brave little toaster, but instead of being brave he loves to get pegged in the ass

Them: “You better not be coming in here with your bullshit” Me: