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Trump just lost Georgia for the 11,780th time

Once a vet told me that Mooose “could be a little dramatic” & I’ve been irritated by that comment for 2 years, but every night Mooose brings me his monch & barks until I wiggle it in the air so he can attack it SUPER FEROCIOUSLY & anyway, turns out that vet might have had a point

I bought this lady statue online from a local shop for curbside pickup, & I brought a blanket to transport her safely, & I meant well so I’m not sure how this turned into a hostage situation where she stared at me like this all the way home

Realized I’d moved the kitchen dog-spy camera so I went to check it; found this image of me yesterday, wearing a ballgown skirt alone in the house on a Monday, swigging wine directly from the bottle while watching the news, & frankly this is a pretty accurate summary of my year

It is truly one of the joys of my life that almost every shark movie has someone on staff who is like, “of course I know what a ‘shark’ is, a shark is a water bear”

Happy holidays from our newest addition, Aleister Growley, a deeply, deeply unholy thing we now own because I make good adult choices

It snowed today & the dogs would like to tell you what they think about going outside

Happy Superb Owl Day to all who celebrate

If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow Don’t be alarmed now It’s just my dog who has carved out a hole in our bushes so she can pee in private

My only hot take on the Oscars is that my dog should get one for being so committed to a role that he briefly convinced himself that he knew how to play chess

The good news: It’s Head Statue Season at HomeGoods! The bad news: Linda has a terrible secret