🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

FROM THE FAR SIDE FILES Gary Larson 02-17-89

20% tariff on imports from Ponyville. Fuck this

I’m built like Mewtwo (by scientists, in a test tube)

Hungover on the Postmates app just searching “help”

Every year as spring rolls around and i start feeling normal again i wonder why i always forget i have “Seasonal Affective Disorder” and like clockwork as i start looking into it i remember it’s primarily a disease for Andrew Huberman fans so i undiagnose myself til next year

My parents are gatekeeping where babies come from

oh iDubzzz made a new “Content cop”. Thatd be cool… if i were still in ninth grade. {Suddenly washed over by a tremendous sea of loving grace) What Matters But To One Soul Should Matter To Us All

FYI for any college professors out there: If you see a student overusing the em-dash in an assignment, it’s a dead giveaway that they are actually Kobayashi Issa, the third haiku master of The Great Four in Japan

God I miss going through my boyfriend’s likes

In-office day schedule. 9 Am: try to speak for at least 40 seconds in the daily stand up meeting about imaginary projects 9:30-10: peeing, Social media break for a cortisol detox 10:30 : Sort of haunt the kitchen 10:35 Peeing 11;00 start wrapping up 3:00PM: Drunk and high at home

Every time i’m assigned a task at work I hit this weird impossible edge case where basically I have to do the task

Looking at water.

Kitten, it’s time for daddy to meet his fate

Not sure why Robert “Frost” felt the need to chime in on the whole fire vs. ice debate with his little poem. Clearly biased

My answer to “are you doing anything for your birthday” is the same as always… Nope. but I’m strongly considering throwing a pool party for next year’s.

She just turned 1 year old.

I’d trust a BROADSWORD… before I’d trust a BROAD’S WORD.

(standing in a beautiful ~300yr old buddhist zen garden in rural Japan and talking to a visibly confused old man in loud English) Is this where they filmed the new Zelda game

The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree was 9 years and 364 days ago